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29.8.14

WRITTEN REVIEW: Bloody Birthday

By JUSTIN POLIZZI
The Keep was a let down and I hope things only get better from here on out. I have a beer in one hand and I’m pressing play with the other.

Bloody Birthday is like nothing you have ever seen before. I honestly can’t compare it to another film, it's very unique and that’s a good thing. To say that Bloody Birthday is a good time would be the nothing short of the truth. Here we have an interesting idea. During a total eclipse, three children are born, two baby boys and a girl. Ten years later teenagers and adults begin to die. Who murdered them? Just some evil children who have fun killing, that's who! They even try to create accidents in order to kill. But most of the time they kill in cold blood. Finally, take note New Year’s Evil, no mousetraps! Yes kids’ killing sounds odd, but that’s what makes this movie fun to watch.

So far this is my favorite of the three, The Keep being the worse. Where The Keep fails, Bloody Birthday exceeds in creating a fun story that’s enjoyable to watch. This is what I’m talking about when I said I enjoy films being bad because they are funny. But you know what? Bloody Birthday isn’t even a bad film. It’s a good watch, but of course a bit ridicules culminating in enjoyment. It’s the "Golden" film I was hoping to find on Netflix when I started these reviews.


Alright mom, gosh! I'll take the garbage out!

I wish I had watched this earlier in life. I have heard of it but for some odd reason it never came across for me to watch it. The kids are great in this film. They have a dark side (especially the girl) that you can see on their faces, but also there is the playful children’s side. Like when they kill it’s just like when kids would go outside to play lets say, cops and robbers. But their child like playfulness comes out in the killing.


"These psychopaths are awesome!"

Julie Brown the chick from the 80’s is in this film. She was on MTV, a comedian, songwriter and actress. She plays the sister to the little girl. And this is where 80’s nudie action begins and it’s fast in this film. These little cold-hearted kids just don’t kill but also watch Brown undress through a hole in the closet. The little girl charges the boys 25 cents for the peek. It’s funny and creepy at the same time, which makes this one fun movie.

So is it bad film? Nope, it’s very fun. Like some killing? Love 80’s nudie scenes? Add Bloody Birthday to your Netflix Queue!

Go watch this film tonight!!!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But sometimes a motion picture is only worth one. Simplistic Reviews gives you a minimum one word review from avid film buffs Justin Polizzi, Matthew Stewart and DJ Valentine. If one isn't enough, you can read on and enjoy their further analysis of the film or television show. Simplistic Reviews is, for lack of a better word, GOOD.

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