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WRITTEN REVIEW: Friday the 13th: The New Blood

There was once a time on Netflix when you could see all of the Friday the 13th films. Then one day…poof…. they were gone. I understand there are rules with studios, which includes rights to films and Netflix rules that have to do with time frames in which rights are owned, but one film stands alone, and that would be Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood. While not the worse entry in the series, this is where you can say the series not only official jumped the shark, but borrowed the shark from Jaws, put it into Camp Crystal Lake, had Jason fight with it, it was declared a draw, and Fonzi jumped over their exhausted bodies with a jet ski. That’s “New Blood” in a very odd nutshell.

“From there we came outside and saw the stars”
― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

This tale from Camp Crystal Lake opens with a short montage of “Fridays” past with Jason presumably meeting his end with the help of a rock and a boat propeller at the bottom of Crystal Lake. Cut to Tina, a special little girl with special powers, with a past of course. She is visiting Crystal Lake to continue sessions with her psychologist, Dr. Crews, and her mother.


Meanwhile, a new group of kids are spending some time at the lake, hoping to surprise their friend Michael, but little do the teens know is that Jason has been freed by Tina and her psychic powers (yes, we have psychic powers in this film). Sure enough, Jason goes on his standard killing spree offing each teen in more and more creative ways.

Finally, Jason and Tina square off in a winner-takes-all battle to the death. The battle involves power lines, lambs, gasoline, nails, and finally a surprise visit from Tina’s past that saves the day…okay, it’s her dead dad who saves the day. So the day is won…until the next sequel of course.

The newest spokesman for Clearasil.

It’s not that “New Blood” is a bad film; it’s simply more of the same with the added wrinkle that now there is a “final girl” with psychic powers. This also marks the beginning of the Kane Hodder-era, which from a performance standpoint is the best in the entire series. Hodder encompassed the character so well, and the fact that you get to see Jason’s face is also an extra treat that really showed the hell that Jason had been through.

Can you "Crispin Glover Dance" for me?

There is also a lot to laugh at in this one as well. First of all, it’s soooooo 80s. From the high-top sneakers with no shirt, to the “valley girl" bitch trope, to, well, just about everything. Even though “Friday” started in 1980, the first few films still felt like extensions of the 1970s, this is the first one that felt fully entrenched in the 80s. But one of my favorites was the re-imagined Crispin Glover character of Eddie, the sci-fi, fan fiction writing nerd. Granted, he never dances like Glover did in Friday the 13th Part 4 but I still love that they brought that character somewhat back to life.

Overall, “New Blood” is fun and all, but it’s still one of the lesser entries in the series, albeit some good effects and Hodder’s performance. “New Blood” is where the series began a voyage of no return, and the next stop was Manhattan.

“Through me you go into a city of weeping; through me you go into eternal pain; through me you go amongst the lost peopl”
― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But sometimes a motion picture is only worth one. Simplistic Reviews gives you a minimum one word review from avid film buffs Justin Polizzi, Matthew Stewart and DJ Valentine. If one isn't enough, you can read on and enjoy their further analysis of the film or television show. Simplistic Reviews is, for lack of a better word, GOOD.




Cindy said...

Let Me In..

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