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7.2.19

WRITTEN REVIEW: My Bloody Valentine

By RHIANNON PUSHCHAK
While there are many many many slashers films in existence, and more and more keep being made, there are only a few that stand out to me in a significant way, and 1981’s My Bloody Valentine is one of those. It stands beside Halloween and Friday the 13th, and it deserves it (there’s various similarities and a few references to these films…but I’ll get to that). It is very underappreciated, and its 2009 remake actually wasn’t that bad. (I promise it’s not why you think.)
SPOILER ALERT: This review reveals the film’s ending…if you don’t want to know about it yet, stop reading, go watch it and come back later!
The film revolves around a group of young adults who plan to have the first Valentine’s Day party in twenty years, despite the fact that there is a serial killer in mining gear wreaking havoc on their small hometown of Valentine Bluffs (hahahahahahaha I see what they did there).


The killer is led on to be Harry Warden, a miner who worked in the Hanniger Mine and was the only one who survived a deadly accident after some of the miners left to attend one of these parties, which is why they stopped for twenty years. (Makes sense, right? Can you blame him? The assholes left him to die. I’d be pretty pissed off too.) So…he kills his victims, tears their hearts out, and wraps the hearts up neatly in chocolate boxes for people to find. (Gross…but also quite clever. And funny.)


He had resorted to cannibalism to survive in the mines and swore that he would continue to kill as long as the holiday is celebrated in the town. Warden was committed to an asylum and everyone seemed to forget about the accident.


It is later revealed that the killer isn’t actually Harry Warden at all, but rather Axel Palmer, one of the young adults who is fighting with T.J. Hanniger, the son of Mayor Hanniger, who also owns the mine (I think? It’s called Hanniger Mine, so I’m assuming it belongs to him). They are involved in this love triangle with a woman named Sarah, whom Axel refers to as his “bloody valentine”.


The gore in this film is extremely realistic. Reportedly, the effects were so good that director George Mihalka puked at the sight of them (I found that tidbit in the Trivia section of this movie’s IMDB page). And me being me, I was in awe at how good everything looked…not good enough to eat, but…you get what I mean. For example, the dryer scene. Ew (but really impressive).


And of course, the hearts. The hearts. In the chocolate boxes. Just…just look at this.


There is one issue with my review of the 1981 original: it is infamous for being heavily edited when it was first released (the MPAA is really stupid sometimes). I bought the movie on YouTube because I wanted to see if my DVD copy was one of the edited ones…and I’m pretty sure it was (my copy is a double feature with 1986’s April Fool’s Day).

Next post is a review of the 2009 remake!


RHIANNON PUSHCHAK
Reviewer | Literature & Film Student | Bringer of the Strange & Unusual

Horror has been her passion throughout her whole life, and film is her one true love. Her favorite movies include Zulawski's Possession, Donnie Darko, and Begotten; her favorite book is the classic Dracula. You can catch her with her nose in a book or comic with Bauhaus blasting through her earbuds and a nice cold can of Monster in her hand.
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"MY BLOODY VALENTINE"

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